Our very own Maya Gottfried has just seen the publication of her new book, Vegan Love – a dating guide for those living a cruelty free lifestyle. Maya has been juggling commitments as Animals Asia’s senior PR with writing – and her book has just been published by Skyhorse.

We’re delighted she has agreed to answer a few questions on Vegan Love and working for Animals Asia.

How and when did you first start working for Animals Asia?

I first learned about Animals Asia through Jo-Anne McArthur, a wonderful photographer of animals. I had been writing about bears and was seeking an organisation that helped them. Jo-Anne told me all about Animals Asia and I learned more about the organisation and Jill’s work online. Like so many others, I was horrified to learn of the plight of moon bears who are farmed for their bile, and wanted to do anything I could to help put an end to it.

I became involved with Animals Asia as a volunteer. I loved the work and hoped to one day be employed by the organisation, so it was a real dream come true when I was offered a full-time position. It’s been an incredibly rewarding and exciting experience. I love working with journalists around the globe and of course the greatest highlight is seeing the bears lounging and playing in the sun in person when I visit the sanctuaries. 

Vegan Love is not your first book – tell us about your writing work to date.

I’ve written a few books for children, including Our Farm: By the Animals of Farm Sanctuary (Knopf), a picture book that celebrates the individual personalities of the animal residents of farm animal advocacy organisation Farm Sanctuary’s shelters. I tell the animals’ stories in poems, which are accompanied by gorgeous paintings by artist Robert Rahway Zakanitch. My book Good Dog (Knopf), also with Zakanitch, similarly features a collection of canines with strong personalities.

Does being a Vegan only mean dating vegans? Can vegans ever find love with non-vegans?

For my book Vegan Love: Dating and Partnering for the Cruelty-Free Gal, I interviewed more than 30 vegan women and some of their partners. I found that the answer to this question depends on the individual. Some vegans will be perfectly comfortable dating an omnivore, while others will find it too painful to sit across the dinner table from someone who eats animals. What’s most important for vegans is to look inside of themselves and see if they will feel comfortable with a non-vegan. There’s a quiz in the book, “Could an Omnivore be the One for Me?” to help readers do this.

One of the things I discovered interviewing so many vegans who had entered into relationships with omnivores, is that vegan love spreads. In most cases, I found that vegans who dated omnivores saw those meat-eating partners move toward a more cruelty-free lifestyle, frequently diminishing the amount of animal products they consumed. In some cases those omnivore partners went all the way, and became vegan themselves. So although it might sound very inviting to only date other vegans, by opening our hearts to omnivores, we could be helping more animals by inspiring that person to live a more compassionate lifestyle.

There can be challenges, though, especially when a vegan and an omnivore decide to move in together. Sometimes a vegan and omnivore who are cohabiting can negotiate to make the living situation more comfortable for the vegan, such as using separate pots, pans, and utensils, or keeping meat out of the house. However, if it’s just too painful for a vegan to be involved with an omnivore, it’s fine to only date other vegans. Dating is about having fun, not suffering!

…and how much do you accept and how much do you try and convert?

What works best for most of the people I spoke with, and for myself, is to speak out of personal experience, and not try to actively change the person you are involved with. In my life, what has inspired those around me to move in a vegan direction, is to simply live an example of a healthy, happy vegan, and to respond to questions with the gentle delivery of information. Generally, trying to change someone you are interested in – or involved – with to vegan will not work. There may be exceptions, but in most cases people don’t like to be told what to do, especially by the person they are in a relationship with.

It also helps to be prepared when the omnivore in your life begins to show interest in veganism. There are some wonderful books you can lend them, or films you can watch together. Great books to loan an aspiring vegan include Main Street Vegan by Victoria Moran, Living the Farm Sanctuary Life by Gene Baur, and The 30-Day Vegan Challenge by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau. Films such as Earthlings and Forks Over Knives may also inspire a meat-eater to move in a vegan direction. We just want to be sure to kindly invite those we love to watch, and not force our partners to view these films when they don’t really want to. Most of us come to veganism out of our love for animals, and we want to carry that love into our activism. When we are forceful or antagonistic in our advocacy we can expect the same in return. When we are kind and compassionate we are more likely to receive a positive response.

You sponsor one of the bears in the Nanning Project – can you explain why and perhaps the circumstances surrounding your decision to sponsor?

Martin bear, in Nanning, is named after my dad, Martin Gottfried, who passed away in 2014. I have so much love for the bears Animals Asia rescues, and wanted to do something special to honor my dad. It was an easy decision to name one of the Nanning bears after him, and support Martin bear’s care. I feel like Martin bear is part of our family, just like our adopted cats. My boyfriend and I have a photo of him prominently displayed in our home. Seeing the image of him smiling in the Nanning sun always warms my heart. 

As a vegan working in the communications department for Animals Asia you are well placed to explain their take on veganism.

We (Animals Asia) believe that we should all live a cruelty-free lifestyle but recognise that for many people this may not be an immediate change. We encourage staff, supporters and partners to make compassionate choices – ultimately aiming for a cruelty-free life, free from the consumption of animal products.

People know Animals Asia best for their work to rescue bears from bile farms and for their work to end dog meat eating. We encourage people to think about both in relation to wider “use” of animals. Likewise in China and Vietnam, the dog meat industry – with dogs increasingly being seen as companions – is a great way to start to address abuse of all animals.

We try to gently encourage people to make compassionate choices, and do what we can to promote a cruelty-free lifestyle. A good example of that would be a partnership in China recently with a chain of coffee restaurants. They wanted to donate to Animals Asia on a per cup basis. We suggested instead that they start giving customers the option of soy milk and we’d take donations only from those sales.

For those of us in the west, it’s easy to demonise the treatment of animals in Asia and often developing economies aren’t as practiced at hiding cruelty as the west is. Instead of criticizing those who are different than us, we hope people will look at their own lives and see what changes they can make for all animals.

What’s next for you Maya?

I’ll be attending various veg fests in North America this year, representing both Vegan Love and Animals Asia. Veg fests are large fairs, often with thousands of attendees, which feature organisations and products that are vegan and vegetarian. Animals Asia is eager to meet more of our vegan, vegetarian, and veg-curious supporters, and introduce ourselves to those who are unfamiliar with our work. I’ll be representing Animals Asia – with Animals Asia Founder Jill Robinson, US Director Paula Burton and our Ambassador actress Lesley Nicol (Mrs Patmore in Downton Abbey) – and Vegan Love at the VegFest Los Angeles this Sunday 30 April, as well as the NYC Vegetarian Food Festival, Hudson Valley Vegfest, with more veg fest plans to come.

I also plan to continue writing, and have a few book projects in various stages of development. 

Vegan Love: Dating and Partnering for the Cruelty-Free Gal is available for purchase on Amazon (US & UK), B&N, Indiebound, and Target.

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